There comes moments in your life where every decision seems like the right—or wrong—decision. When you don’t know which path to take either because every road seems to be more delectable or dangerous than the next.
While it might sound like having too many good decisions to make would be a good thing, decision-making anxiety is never fun. In fact, when you’re faced with too many decisions, it could even lead to you working yourself up into a low-vibration state that causes you to make the worst decision possible.
That’s the dilemma of the overthinker.
In fact, I’ve had this exact trouble in my life in the past. The last time I had decision-making anxiety (that I can remember), I was just accepted to California State University, Fullerton (my goal school). This should have been a moment of celebration, but instead, I was a bundle of nerves.
Community college was easy, low-commitment and cheap; but going to university is the opposite. Going to university, by default, puts you tens of thousands of dollars (at least) in the hole financially. My parents weren’t going to pay for my college, so I knew this would be a responsibility I was accepting by going to college.
This would mean I’d have no second chances. If I decided to be indecisive about majors, I would end up drowning myself deeper and deeper into debt until it would feel like there’s no way to swim to the surface and catch an air of breath.
So, my first dilemma was: Is the debt I will incur worth it? But my second dilemma was: Would it be more fruitful to stay in my hometown?
While I had always dreamed of getting out of my home and going off to LA or NYC to go to college, make new friends and live the dream of being a young adult on his own, full of independence and adventure, I knew it would be uncomfortable.
I had to compare the tradeoffs of leaving my established friends and family to taking a leap of faith that my education would pay off in the long run. I just got into a relationship at the end of my community college journey and thought that it may endanger that relationship to move away.
Put simply: Moving away for college was the risky, financially-reckless decision and staying home was the safer and more affordable alternative. It was a difficult decision to make.
But at the end of the day, my inner compass steered me in the right direction. This is because I have a set of clear values that I live by.
Some of those values include:
- Always evolving: When I make a decision, it shouldn’t be based on comfort. Change and discomfort stimulate growth. To live an above-average life, I’m willing to put up with the discomforts of evolving. This means that being comfortable wasn’t a good enough excuse to keep me home.
- Passion: I will sacrifice whatever is necessary to live a life fueled by passion. In this case, I knew I loved the study of communications and wanted to continue that major in one of the highest-ranked communications programs in the U.S.
- Courageousness: I believe that greatness lies on the opposite side of fear. To be courageous means to be willing to take leaps of faith. Going to college felt like one of these necessary leaps and I didn’t want fear to be something that froze me in place.
As you could probably guess, my moral compass pointed in the direction of me leaving my hometown to pursue a higher education at my college of choice. While my time at CSU Fullerton had its own trials and tribulations, I feel like this was a time of extreme growth for me, which is why I believe it was the right decision.
Furthermore, I want to hammer home the fact that these values of mine accumulate into a gut feeling that leads me toward what I believe to be the best decision. I have a feeling that’s a mix of excitement and fear which appears in my gut when I think about a decision I know I won’t regret. This is also how I chose majors.
I knew that I loved making speeches and socializing with people growing up. The idea of learning more about the study of communication brought me legitimate excitement. Other majors that were on my radar, such as art and film, didn’t bring me the same sure-hearted gut feeling that studying communications brought me.
This is what led me to ultimately choose communications as my major, which transformed into me pursuing a degree with an emphasis on Public Relations.
While PR felt like the right study for me in college, I got a bad gut feeling about the part of the job focusing on social media management and cold-calling newsrooms. I more so liked the aspect of writing the blog for the student PR organization I was a part of, which caused me to find a job in marketing right out of college.
My first job was doing just that: writing blog posts for companies.
While my anecdote above makes listening to your inner-compass sound easy, it’s not so easy for everyone. You have to learn to recognize any irrational thought patterns or excuses that blur your sense of life direction.
For example, I might have thought to myself, when choosing whether or not to go to college: “Oh no, I feel anxious about going to college! This must be my inner compass telling me to stay home!”
But that’s not how I interpreted my anxiousness. I recognized that thought pattern as an excuse that could forever hold back my growth. After all, if you run away from every challenging situation, then you’ll never have an opportunity to rise to a challenge.
The reason I’m able to recognize these excuses and low-vibration thought patterns is that I have years of practicing mindfulness. Meditation isn’t an activity that you see progress in overnight. You can meditate every day for a week and not see any benefits.
But after months or a year of practicing mindfulness, you begin to recognize the ways in which you deceive yourself.
Maybe you’re two-faced. You talk badly about your friends behind their backs, but when they become upset with you, you deflect blame onto them for being a bad friend or an unethical person instead of taking responsibility.
Maybe you’re afraid of success. Opportunities come your way, but you’re afraid to act on them. You tell yourself, “I’m not qualified for that job” or “I shouldn’t audition for that part, I’ll just fail.” You could even get opportunities that hand themself to you on a silver platter but you reject them because you have limiting beliefs that you aren’t worthy.
This is why it’s important to practice mindfulness. When you reflect on your thoughts and recognize the way your mind operates, you’ll be able to diagnose how your mind can lead you in the wrong direction. How your thoughts can blur and obfuscate your inner compass until it’s no longer visible.
While outlining ways to practice mindfulness would require its own entire post, here are some simple ways to get more in touch with the machinations of your thought process:
- Practice yoga
- Meditate
- Journal
- Go for walks
- Hike
- Practice breathwork
To get started with mindfulness, you may even want to join a mindfulness community or go to yoga classes near you. Having others around you joining you in your journey of self-discovery goes a long way toward helping you evolve from a mindless caterpillar to a fully-actualized butterfly.
Once you’ve learned how to tune into your inner compass and untangle any deceptive thought patterns, you’ll find that your life begins to improve almost effortlessly. All it requires is a little effort and patience on your end. Good luck!